First. Two. Weeks. Dealing. With. Bullies. Act. Now.

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8 thoughts on “First. Two. Weeks. Dealing. With. Bullies. Act. Now.”

  1. Very true.

    It’s funny that I tried to level with a class last semester on a day that I was at school but I was sick. There was some minor acting up. I said “Why don’t we just have a calm day today, as you can hear, I’m a bit sick. Whenever any of you is sick and at school I give you a break. I also don’t give you homework because I know that you have a lot of after school committments and are stressed out. That is why we go 100 percent in class, so we can relax in the evenings.”

    Usually with most of my regular classes (and when I taught Honors years ago), after I have built rapport and respect with a class they respond well to this type of just leveing with them and trying to somewhat talk to them as adults.

    I was surprised to find though that this particular class actually acted worse after I told them that. I played it cool, but later on I was quite disappointed in their rudeness.

    Growing up if I ever disrespected a teacher, I would be afraid to even come home to my parents.

    Sometimes when I make calls home to parents about disrespect, they put the issue back on me like “Well what have YOU done to build relationship with him?” (A typical rich, un-involved parent move, put it back on me).

    Um….it’s like let’s see….pour my own money into going to conferences, buying books for a classroom library for your child, getting rid of the textbook which saved you money, um…..need I go on.

    Ben, there’s this whole idea that any misbehavior on a part of a child is a result of an “unmet need.” I call BS on this as it denies free will.

    I do feel sorry for kids who have a rough home life, etc, but I also am familiar with two particular non-American cultures that also have a lot of problems in the family and in society…yet disrespecting a teacher would be the farthest thing from their mind.

    1. I fully agree Greg. On a positive note, I think that the years (of entitled brats not being held accountable) are going to end with each new NT story. Targeted stories almost encouraged their disrespect bc they weren’t that interesting. So they could blame us. But w NT the content is too good, the kids too involved, and it shines a light on those few entitled jerks, who used to run the classroom but will be outed bc they cannot pull the class along into their snark. Just my thinking.

    2. Gretchen Hughey

      This is an interesting thought to me: “Ben, there’s this whole idea that any misbehavior on a part of a child is a result of an “unmet need.” I call BS on this as it denies free will.

      I do feel sorry for kids who have a rough home life, etc, but I also am familiar with two particular non-American cultures that also have a lot of problems in the family and in society…yet disrespecting a teacher would be the farthest thing from their mind.”

      My take on what you’re saying is this: Some kids, especially kids who come from immigrant families from other cultures, are taught to respect people in positions of authority; this is a very strong value in their culture. Although they may be materially poor or relationally poor in other ways, this culture of respect is an asset their family is able to give them, in spite of their challenging situation.

      Often, kids who grow up in the United States in families living in poverty, particularly generational poverty, are not only materially poor, they are also extremely relationally poor because dysfunctional family relationships result in them developing very distorted and unhealthy ways of interacting with the world around them. One common manifestation of this is that they are not taught to be respectful of people in authority and, often, not even taught basic manners and consideration. It is unfortunate that their relational poverty deprives them of these very, very important pieces of their humanity.

      There is cause for hope because they do indeed have free will and can still be taught to act differently (in many cases) but, we must admit, it can be very challenging and discouraging to try to serve students like this in our classrooms — more discouraging in many ways than serving kids without this relational poverty, as you point out.

  2. Speaking of NT—I have a class that used to be super chatty and is still a bit on that side/disrespectful. But with new seating today, NOBODY raised hands with suggestions for our OWI. I should have given suggestions, or done a turn and talk, but I was so seething I had to go to silent work and table it. Has the sudden dead silence ever happened to anyone else, and how’d you conquer it? I am praying for patience and doing Diana Winston’s meditations 2x/day in the meantime!

    1. It might have happened because it was the first day back. That almost happened to me today with first period when I started our first OWI of the year. I asked “profe #2” to decide what the Image was and then when I did that she said “a penguin” and then the class started participating.

  3. I had it a few times today — 2nd day coming back. I am treating this week as a reset by re-teaching expectations. Kids don’t know how to act with an adult.. especially in conversation. Too much screen time. I erased the jobs too. I always model silly answer.

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