It was like a different life. It was like a miracle. With my new tools and perspective, I was able to be myself in the classroom. I had a fierceness in me, knowing that I had to either believe in myself and stand behind what I was doing or go back down that dark and self-destructive road. I had new courage. I had a deep dedication to all of my wounded parts, so I brought them all with me to work each day. No part of me had to be shoved into a corner in order for me to do my work. I suffered with anxiety every day, but it did not bring me down. I was having too much fun.
The CI has been amazing. It just flows. It flows from a joyful part of me, from my heart. And it’s not always great or interesting or anything like that, but it is what I’m doing. I’m speaking Spanish with students. We are reading and writing and acting stuff out and talking together. We are listening to each other. We are being as human as we can under the circumstances, and I love this work. They blurt too much. They have something to say in English about every single thing we say in Spanish. Some days they are focused and it’s as if the sky opens up and we are in Teacher Heaven. Most days they are all over the place, bumbling around with a hundred different behaviors and I just admire them and laugh and think “I am learning and doing my best and none of this is perfect”, and try another strategy, or not. Some days they listen to me and respond to my instructions and I am amazed. Some days they all do their jobs like champions and I feel like a “good teacher”. As the semester rolls along to the end, I can feel that we have created good things together. A lot of them are Spanish things, and also human things. And none of it is perfect, but I am happy. I am a happy, inspired teacher, and I’ll take that.
Here are some comments in response to (Robert Patrick’s) evaluation questions yesterday using Google Forms so it’s all anonymous. This is my favorite evaluation. I don’t know who this student is, but I wish I could give them a hug!
What helped you learn Spanish?
The slow and constant stream of Spanish really helped me. Just talking and learning to comprehend little by little worked really well for me.
What didn’t help?
I’m not really sure. I felt that everything we did helped me to learn in some way or another.
If you could change one thing…
I don’t think I would have changed anything. I had a really positive experience.