This story by Greg Stout is a variation on Cutting Down a Christmas Tree:
wants to light a Menorah
nothing happens
Jill wants to light a Menorah. She goes into the bathroom. She takes a wet sponge. She holds the wet sponge up to the candle for 3 months, but nothing happens.
James wants to light a Menorah. He goes into the closet. He takes a book. He holds the book up to the candle for 17 years, but nothing happens.
Herbie wants to light a Menorah. He goes into the garage. He takes a cat. He holds the cat up to the candle for 16 centuries, but nothing happens.