If you have ever had to endure a child whose inappropriate comments were always just below the radar, read this post. It’s a conversation with a colleague:
Talking to you about your classroom management problems has in no small way activated some deep PTSD stress that I have experienced years ago in my career. Those kids in your fourth period class sound exactly like some that I’ve taught over the years.
Thankfully those years are over now and I am in recovery and probably will be in recovery for the rest of my life as I start to see, a bit late, that schools are really mental war zones where narcissists – about 20% of the people in the building – hide,
These are imposter souls who sneak into positions of power over others, be they narc admins on innocent empathic teachers or narc teachers on innocent empathic students or narc parents on innocent empathic teachers or their own children.
I wanted to tell you that you must stay in the TL a lot more than you have been. This will help immensely. Staying in the StarChart™ process of tableau or story creation will give the dark ones less to feed on. (I’m talking here about the evil ones who either ignore you or when they do they make those inappropriate comments and try, apparently successfully if we are to be honest, to wrest control of your class from you.)
Most of your time in classes today working on that StarChart™ story I coached you on yesterday has to be SPENT IN THE TARGET LANGUAGE, not in English. Keep control that way. KEEP CONTROL OVER YOUR CLASSES BY KEEPING THEM ENGAGED AND BE AWARE OF THE NARCS SPRINKLED IN THE CLASS AND GIVE THEM NO ENERGY DURING YOUR CLASS. GIVE THEM NO AIR. DO NOT TALK TO THEM UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO AND EVEN THEN MAKE IT SHORT.
GIVE THEM NOTHING BECAUSE THEY DESERVE NOTHING AND ONLY WANT TO DESTROY YOU – AND THAT IS NOT AN OVERSTATEMENT IF YOU TRULY AND ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND NARCISSISM – BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE INNOCENT YEARS AGO WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER, SCHOOL AND PERMISSIVE TEACHERS LIKE YOU HAVE OVER THE YEARS HAVE ALLOWED THEM TO TURN INTO RUDE AND TEACHER-DESTROYING MONSTERS SO GIVE THEM NO AIR DURING CLASS AND THE WAY YOU DO THAT IS TO GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE: THE TABLEAU OR STORY, WHERE IF YOU JUST STAY THERE FOR MOST OF THE TIME IN CLASS THOSE NARC KIDS CANNOT GET TO YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE AND YOU ARE GIVING THEM NO AIR , BECAUSE YOU ARE IN YOUR HAPPY PLACE WHERE THEY CANNOT TOUCH YOU. SO DO IT! YOU ARE NOT THEIR FRIEND! YOU ARE THEIR TEACHER!
If you don’t do that, if you invite them to have casual conversations in English like you have all year – or at least that is what I did for most of my career in every class so forgive me if I am projecting that out onto you but I suspect you do spend too much time in English like I did, with what were for me disastrous results over the decades – then the conditions that allow those inappropriate comments will still be there and they will never let their teeth out of you since they worked so hard to gain power over you for most of the year now.
Then next year in the fall if you don’t do these things in the first two week – then it will be another hellish year and how many more years like this one can you stand?
You must stay in the TL with good instruction and this time crush the narc kids in the fall as soon as you have studied narcissism and figured out who they are and then immediately go down to the counselors and GET THEM OUT OF THAT CLASS IN THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OR, FAILING THAT, PUT THEM IN THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE ROOM FOR THE YEAR SO THAT THEY CAN’T FEED OFF OF EACH OTHER.
So stop being their friend and using English so much. Stay on the tableau or story, whichever you get to, and then move on around the other four phases of the Star and then when it all works today thank me for inventing the Star and for telling you these things.
Sound over the top? It’s not. It’s at the core of all classroom management problems in CI classrooms.