Dear all,
Yesterday, I was doing an activity with my Latin III class where we read a Latin I story using family members and I was circling things like “who is the father’s son?” I turned my back and some kid threw something across the room. I turned around and out of extreme frustration, I yelled at the class, namely at the two kids giggling about it. Well, as a result, I emailed the two parents. One was upset because I didn’t follow up with her right away. There are many reasons why I wan’t able to talk to her yesterday, but nevertheless, a call to the principal occurred.
I went in to discuss it with the AP. While I know that getting angry and chastising the way that I did was no the best idea, I got some grief about it. While I agree with some of the things my AP said, he blames the method. He has no visibility. I can say that this process has been very trying on me. I believe in it like I believe that the sun rises in the East and sets in the West. However, this kind of change has exhausted me to the point that make mistakes. They are not monumental, but they look bad. Our APs don’t have visibility into anything beyond their day to day things. Nevertheless, I spoke to the Mom and the kid. I apologized for getting so angry. My AP also expressed that I was risking the destruction of my program due to the emotional toll of this change. I don’t agree with him about the damage, but about the emotional toll. Yes, it is significant. I am tired. So tired. He also expressed his concern because my upper levels are small. They have always been that way since I started at this school. Our kids have to choose between all their APs and other requirements for graduation and such.
However, after class, a student came up to tell me that he understood why I was mad. He thanked me for my hard work and said that he learned more this year than he has learned in the last two years. He appreciates and has enjoyed the class so much. He also said that he would keep going, but he can’t fit it into his schedule. He can’t keep up with everything that he has to do without a study hall. I felt empowered by this. I know I am doing the right thing. I take it as a sign of doing the right thing when people are uncomfortable. If we are only interested in keeping the students in a state of “Living Dead,” I don’t belong teaching. I want to be real and I will continue to do what is right. I just have to be sure I don’t get crucified for it.
We should keep this in mind when we think about asking others to become a CI teacher. Can schools handle it? Can we teachers continue to pour in everything that is necessary to be human? I don’t know. I am strong and I will continue to fight, but can we ask others to be equally strong. Can we expect them to do it? I just don’t know.
I’m going to the Ohio Junior classical league convention this weekend in Columbus. 17 of my students are competing. I convinced the sister school to do it also. They are doing it for the first time every. Wow! So many demands!
Jeff