Going to the Mall to See Santa

This Christmas script is from Anne Matava’s Volume 1 script collection:

wait
have to go to the bathroom
you’ll get

3-year-old Billy and his mother go to the mall to see Santa. They wait for 3 hours. Billy says, “I have to go to the bathroom.” Mom says, “Can’t you wait?” Billy can’t wait. He pees his pants. He sits on Santa’s lap. Santa says, “Yuck! Your pants are wet! You’ll get no presents!”

Billy and his mother go to Sears and buy new pants. They go back to Santa and wait 23 minutes. Billy says, “I have to go to the bathroom.” Mom says, “Can’t you wait?” Billy can’t wait. He pees his pants. He sits on Santa’s lap. Santa says, “You again! Your pants are wet! You’ll get no presents!”

Billy and his mother go to Hot Topic and buy new pants. They go back to Santa and wait 34 days. Billy says, “I have to go to the bathroom, and I can’t wait.” His mother brings him to the bathroom. Santa is also in the bathroom. Billy says, “Hey Santa, will you bring me Guitar Hero?” Santa says, “Yes of course, because you are a big boy and are going to the bathroom.”

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