A story script from Anne Matava. If you try it please report back. It’s strong:
Austin collects fingernails. He has a nice fingernail collection, but he doesn’t have any fingernails from Arizona. So he goes to Arizona to collect some. While collecting, he gets stung in the left ear by a scorpion. He doesn’t die, but all of his fingers fall off. The scorpion dies.
He also collects spiders. He has a nice spider collection, but he doesn’t have any Japanese spiders. So he goes to Kyoto to collect some spiders. While collecting, he gets bitten in the ankle by a cannibal. Austin doesn’t die, but he does get diarrhea. Now he has diarrhea and no fingers.
His best collection is an eyeball collection. He keeps them in a jar in his room. It’s a good collection, but he doesn’t have any French eyeballs. So he goes to France to collect eyeballs. While collecting, he gets bitten in the knee by Donnie. Austin doesn’t die, but he does turn into a pineapple. In the end he is a fingerless pineapple with diarrhea.
Note: this story is the brain-child of the very funny and smart Elisha D., a student at Bucksport High School in Maine. We have an agreement in my class that no one real ever dies in the stories; I recommend this policy heartily.